Beneath the Terebinth Tree

As our women's bible study group went through the story of Sarah in Genesis, I was struck by the words "Terebinth tree". It sounded like something mysterious and beautiful and I wondered if it had any significance to the story.

The Terebinth was an unusually tall oak-like tree that stood out in the landscape of Palestine, even used as landmarks for travelers. They are long-living and majestic in appearance, often used as a symbol of strength and durability. It was also a source of turpentine tapped from the trunk, for commercial and medicinal use.

Perhaps with all that Sarah had been through, all of the waiting, traveling and trials, the Terebinth near their campsite in Mamre was a comfort to her. Perhaps reminding her of God's strength and provision.

This is my imagining of that moment:

Beneath the Terebinth Tree

From dusty tent Sarai, head down,
walks slowly, seeking peace.
Touching bark reverently, gazing up
through branches broad, stretching heavenward.
Majestic, full of grace,
the tree is strong and steadfast as the Lord.

Thoughts roam back, find well-worn paths:
Even good men make foolish mistakes;
strength and youth of men fade away.
The tree endures, with powerful limbs protecting,
providing shelter.
What comfort to a woman travel weary, disillusioned.
Struggling, bitter against husband
whose dreams she follows,
endlessly.

Waiting for prophecy fulfilling
and aching to cease.
The tree is a soothing balm
for soul worn out, no tears
remaining.
Regretful of rash decision,
jealous of another quickly blessed.
Heart sick from hope deferred.

Dare she believe?
Empty womb, alive and bearing
longed for son.
Sarah laughs, embarrassed and afraid.
God has heard, remembered, is faithful.
He speaks:
“Is anything too hard for the Lord?”
Child of laughter arriving,
borne of promises and joy.

6/22/10

Life is what we make it...

What do I have to complain about? This young man transformed his disabilities into abilities. Get ready to be inspired.

(Pause playlist at the bottom of the page)

What to do when you don't want to get out of bed--by Ann Voskamp

If you are feeling this way, like I have for the past week or so, go to the Holy Experience blog and read this post. She has a way of putting things into beautiful, meaningful perspective. It's truly a gift and it's what I needed today.

Did you know?

That April is National Poetry Month?

Would you like to join me in writing new poetry or dusting off your old poetry? Or share how poetry has helped you express the joy, pain and beauty of life?

Drop me a comment or link to your blog! I'd love to discover some new poets out there!

Creativity—we must express

If you have never read Ann Voskamp's blog, Holy Experience, you really should. She is a poet, a life artist and she inspires me like no one has in a long, long time. Read this beautiful post to reawaken the artist within...

1000 Gifts--The Thankfulness Experiment

To see what else I'm thankful for start here. Want to be part of the Gratitude Community?

I am thankful for:

11. friends so comfortable they feel like family.

12. my books.

13. access to clean drinking water. So many people don't; see how you can help.

14. a bountiful garden.

15. my daughter's teacher.

16. God, who understands me completely and loves me still.

17. the sound of my daughter's "ticking" heart.

18. homemade playdough that keeps little hands busy.

19. the pure joy of running.

20. this song:

(remember to pause the playlist at the bottom of the page)

1000 Gifts--The Thankfulness Experiment

I am so excited to begin my own list of One Thousand Gifts along with the Gratitude Community at the Holy Experience blog!

So many times over the years I have whined and complained and completely taken for granted the beautiful gift that my life is. Never have I realized that more than during the last few weeks. Noelle's surgeries and recovery have produced in me an intense appreciation for God's love for me and the way he has blessed me with the people, places and things in my life.

I look forward to more joy in my life, simply because I am looking for it.

I thought it would be easiest to start with the first ten things that come to mind. I am thankful for...

1. hugs and kisses from sticky little hands and faces.

2. kindred spirits in the workplace.

3. friendship with my husband.

4. air conditioning.

5. celebrating 4 years of my son's life.

6. eager friends picking veggies and weeding our huge garden!

7. confident and capable surgeons.

8. good neighbors.

9. my laptop.

10. This song:

(Remember to pause the playlist at the bottom of this page)

The Best and the Worst

The WORST:

-hearing my own "worst case scenario" come to life -- my daughter needs a valve replacement NOW, not years down the road; that she was, in the doctor's words, a ticking time bomb over the past year.

-watching them take her away, feeling my empty hands.

-visualizing what a heart-lung bypass must look like on MY daughter.

-walking to meet the surgeon, hand in hand with my best friend, holding our breath, hoping beyond hope, also fearing the worst.

-sleepless nights and the inability to provide comfort to a sad and restless little girl.

-witnessing the open wound of grief.

-seeing babies hover between life and death.

-weariness.


The BEST:

-feeling hundreds of prayers lifting us up, bringing God's peace.

-hearing the best possible news, hugging my best friend, telling each other she's really okay.

-forging instant friendships in the strangest and most difficult of circumstances.

-reconnecting with old friends.

-knowing how much we are loved by our families.

-cuddles and snuggles and lots of I love yous from the two greatest kids on the planet.

-enjoying the rain washed air, lush greenery and delicious food of Seattle.

-celebrating the removal of each tube and wire.

-knowing that God is making me into a much more loving and much less selfish mommy.

Blog Discovery

If you need a little (or a lot) of peace, poetry and beauty then spend some time at the Holy Experience. I was temporarily transported to another place. One without beeping monitors, incisions, tubes or pain meds.

Smile Train

Joel and I just watched such a beautiful documentary called "Smile Pinki" on HBO. The film follows two young children in India, Pinki and Ghutara, who have cleft lip and palate. They both receive free surgeries, to correct their clefts, from the Smile Train charity.

Of course, given my line of work, I was hugely interested in this show but I was also captivated by the beauty and courage of the children and the incredible dedication of the medical team. As a parent, my heart went out to the moms and dads who wanted so much for their children to have a normal and happy life. I felt such kinship with them given all we have been through with Noelle's medical problems. It really helped me to remember that, regardless of cultural, political or religious differences, the love between parents and children is so universal. Those parents love their children no less than I do mine. I guess this may seem obvious to many of you and, yes, I have realized this intellectually, but tonight it just clicked for me emotionally. It made sense. There was no "us and them" in my heart. I understood what they felt, parent to parent.

If you have the chance I would highly recommend that you watch "Smile Pinki"! You will be inspired and touched.

Keeping God's Word in my Heart

Proverbs 3:1-6
My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Sara, from Walk Slowly, Live Wildly, has issued an invitation to become part of the "James Challenge" a call to Jesus freaks everywhere to memorize scripture and mature in our faith! I have been considering the idea for a few days and have decided that it's time to dive in and make the commitment!

For several years (well, to be exact, the past 3 1/2 years since we have had children) I have neglected the essential task of hiding God's word in my heart. Okay, to be perfectly honest, I have been LAZY and most days I'm not even sure of the location of my bible and I certainly have not invested time in memorizing its contents!

I have read many books about the bible and christian life, but its just not quite the same is it? Only God's word is living food for my spirit, it speaks to me during the tough times and it draws other people to Him. I'm pretty sure I need to head to the source of life instead of reading about it all the time. It is sad how little I challenge myself to really remember the word when I have this huge store of useless knowledge of pop culture, song lyrics, movie quotes, etc. that I have memorized without effort!

So, anyone want to join me? Head over to Walk Slowly, Live Wildly and let her know that you are going to participate!

I just memorized three verses of James today (James 1:2-4). It was virtually painless and actually kind of fun! As I was saying the verse over and over to myself I started thinking about what it must have been like as a first century Christian to have heard such encouraging words for the first time. You know what's exciting is that these words apply just as much to me today as they did to Christian's back then.

James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Knitting is Therapy

Knitting is effective and very cheap therapy!

It is hard to describe how much knitting has helped me navigate the murky midwinter blues this year. Even Joel has noticed a difference. He told me the other night how mellow and relaxed I have been since I started knitting. I tend toward anxiety and thinking about the "worst case scenario" and anything that can lift my mind out of that funk is very, very good!

I have felt such tremendous satisfaction from making something useful with my own two hands. My daughter thinks my creations are "fabulous" and she is in awe of my knitting. I have also experienced the joy of making things that I can give away to others. It feels so good to not have to go out and buy a present but make something instead.

Knitting also provides good praying/thinking/meditation time. Lately I have been mulling over a lot of "new to me" ideas about what it means to follow Jesus. I have been reading "The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical" which has given me much food for thought.



It deserves a separate blog post, I can't do it justice here. I will say that if you read this book you will be challenged to love and connect with other human beings like never before.

Anyway, friends, knitting ROCKS! Try it, you’ll like it!

Jen

Trying Something New

My dear Mrs. Pivec from Golightly Place has inspired me to try a new hobby...knitting! You know how I'm always whining about wanting to be creative and really make something with my own two hands, well this is my latest attempt at satisfying that need! It has been fun so far and not too terribly frustrating.

I have found that I CANNOT learn to do craft projects from written instructions and diagrams, I have to SEE them done, so I was so happy to find videos online for beginning knitters (again thanks to Mrs. Pivec!).

I will now dazzle you with my new found knitting terminology... I have learned to "cast on" and I think I am getting the hang of the "knit stitch". Although I have difficulty when I get to the end of a row. There is this weird loop left over, I am sure due to operator error of some kind. Any help from the knitters out there? I started out with the Continental method but couldn't get the hang of holding the yarn in my left hand. I am having more success with the English method. There you go. Impressed yet?

My husband has taken to calling me "granny" when he sees me knitting. I can always count on him for moral support.

While perusing knitting books at Barnes and Noble the other day I found one with ideas for using knitting for good. For example, beanie hats for chemo patients and teddy bears for kids who have been abused. Wouldn't it be amazing to know that something you made brought comfort to others in the midst of pain? I hope I can gain enough knitting skill to do something like that.

Touching Lives

These are the moments that make it all worth it:

This morning at our school's weekly RtI (response to intervention) meeting our principal wanted to share something close to his heart. He had received a handwritten card from someone in the neighborhood around our school that read something like this:

"This morning I watched the older boys playing football before school and was very concerned because they appeared to be playing too rough with a little boy who had a walker. After watching for a few minutes I came to realize that they weren't playing rough, they were including him in the game. One of the boys tied a flag to his walker, they let him catch the ball and they even let him tackle them. I was so impressed and proud of the character these kids showed. Good job ______ Elementary School!"

Believe me when I say there was not a dry eye around the conference table.

But it gets even better.

After that we invited the father of one of our students in to discuss his daughter's progress and the academic interventions that have been done to help her succeed. At the end of the meeting he thanked us from the bottom of his heart for helping his little girl. He described how far she had come in the past few months since they had moved here and then he gave us a standing ovation. Really, I'm not kidding.

The tissue box made the rounds again. In fact I need one right now, I am tearing up just thinking about it.

As my husband so aptly stated, "You school people live for this stuff. This is going to keep you going for years."
Too true.

Keeping it Simple this Christmas

I found this video over on Missy's blog. It is AWESOME! All morning I have been feeling that "itch" to get out there and do some shopping (impulse shopping) because I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet and there are "good deals" out there somewhere! Over the past year I have really tried to reduce my acquisition and consumption of "stuff" but my convictions were being put to the test today.

After watching this video I have renewed my resolve to keep it simple this year.

On Aimee's blog I found a great idea for simplifying the Christmas wish list for my family. The idea is to buy a few gifts for each person that focus on body, soul and spirit. For example, clothes would be for the body, one special gift that your child really wanted is for the soul, and a bible or inspirational book would be for the spirit. Then do a few stocking stuffers for fun.

I plan to try it this year. I think this idea will keep me focused and reduce impulse buying when I get that last minute Christmas panic! Last year I was so frustrated with myself because a few days before Christmas I suddenly felt that I hadn't done enough and my kids would be deprived! So I went out to the store that must not be named (sorry Joel, this is true confession time) and bought a bunch of junk! It was very silly!`

Now please don't misunderstand me, I am not a humbug, really! I love Christmas! The music, the lights, the movies, the traditions! I look forward to it every year. My desire is to not get caught up in the "machine" that tells me to buy my happiness. I want to keep my focus where it should be, on God and family, not on stuff.

You might have noticed that I am kicking off the holiday season with a new look for my blog and a Christmas music play list! I'm sorry if the music annoys anyone! I know that some people have strong feelings about music on blogs. My blog has become a place where I like to hang out and relax and music is a big part of that for me. So I hope you enjoy it too but if you don't, just remember to push pause on the play list. ;0)

Encouragement for a Friend

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isaiah 43 : 2

This is for a sweet friend at work who is "passing through the fire" right now. Would you pray for her? Thanks!

Amazing Story

Check out this video of an incredible, inspiring woman who was born alive during a saline abortion. It is long but well worth hearing.

Pep Talk

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

I subscribe to a daily devotional online from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Today's message greatly encouraged me and I thought I would pass it along. To read the entire devotion click here.

"When we take our eyes off our fears, our doubts, our struggles and focus on someone else's needs, we somehow forget our own, for a little while. In believing the power of God’s promises for others, our confidence in His promises for us seems to grow as well. And that my friend is the power of encouraging words! "

"Lord, Thank you for the power of Your Words that give me courage to become who You’ve created me to be – to go to places You’re calling me to go and climb spiritual heights that are out of my reach without Your help. Give me Your encouragement today, and help me encourage someone, too. In Jesus Name, Amen" -By Renee Swope-

An Ordinary Life

"We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—" (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

I came across this quote on Walk Slowly Live Wildly tonight and it really spoke to me. Many times I internally bemoan the fact that God made me so terribly ordinary. Why wasn't I given a special talent of some kind? Why do I feel so invisible most of the time? What a blessed reminder that God does not need me to be an Uber-saint. He just wants me to live the life that he has so lovingly bestowed upon me. To show others the extraordinary God I serve and not get in the way.

Life Half-Lived

A few months ago I read a post by Big Mama about letting go of the fear in her life and truly giving it to God. I wrote this poem in response:

The Fear of Letting Go

The fear of letting go grips my heart.

I long to run, I yearn to fly, I need to create.

My heart turns cold.

I fear being nothing.

I fear losing everything.

I don't want to waste my life.

I'm tired of trying to please everyone.

I'm tired of falling short.

I'm falling apart at the seams.

I long to feel the warmth of the sun.

To stand on a hill with the wind in my face.

Holding nothing back.

I am released from this half-life of fear.

I will let myself be shattered.

Free me and make me whole again.

3/1/08

I am generally a very private person but in my quest to become more of the person God made me to be, I have chosen to process my thoughts and feelings out loud. Perhaps to give myself some sort of accountability or just to be more open and known to others? Maybe some of these ramblings will help someone else? Maybe this is some form of therapy for me? Whatever it is, bear with me!

I have been told before that I am too serious and that I think about things too much but as I expressed in my poem, I'm so tired of trying to please others and not be myself. I don't want to worry about being too much for some and not being enough for others. I am who I am and it's time for me to accept this and stop hiding the real me. I grew up hiding my true thoughts and feelings and I have found that the habit has stuck. It's time for me to realize that God loves me and accepts me "just as I am" as the old hymn goes. That is enough for me. I don't have to hide anymore.

The song Unbreakable by Fireflight perfectly expresses what I am trying to say, "God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been. I want to go there, this time I'm not scared!".

Jen