Musings

School's out for the summer!!! I'm excited but also feeling the pressure of the next three months stretching ahead of me and the fear of wasting it. I didn't get off to the greatest start either. I couldn't accomplish anything more yesterday than the basics: laundry, dishes, feed the kids, repeat... It is more difficult than one might think to switch gears from working part time to having unlimited time at home. Not that I'm complaining but maybe I should have worked out a game plan. I was so focused on surviving the move out to the farm that summer snuck up on me. I'm not without ideas however. My mind is awash with ideas but where do I start?
I know for sure that I want to finish my daughter's baby book (she's five years old) and at least start my son's baby book (he's almost three). I need to enroll my kids in swimming lessons; I can't put that off any longer. But there's so much more I want to do. Lose weight. Get in shape. Eat healthier. Plant an herb garden. Make cheese. Yes, I actually said "make cheese". Is that weird? I just read an article in Mother Earth magazine about how easy it really is and I was rather taken with the idea! I have been fascinated lately with learning to live life simply.
This is a recent development to be sure, likely coming from this transition from suburban life to farm life. It also comes from my increasing awareness over the past few years of how my life impacts the environment, from the clothes I wear to the food I buy that has been premade, packaged and shipped hundreds of miles. I'm not saying that I've somehow perfected this area of my life but I am learning and little by little implementing some new ideas. Ideas like buying locally, buying handmade and buying secondhand. Now for my disclaimer, should those of you who know me personally cry "hypocrite"! This is a major work in progess! It all sounds great but I find that it takes a lot more planning and thought than the way I'm accustomed to living. As intimidating as it seems though, I'm taking the plunge into the world of "green" living and not because it has become oh so trendy. I truly believe that God wants us to care for the planet, people and animals He has given us.
I desire to live more consciously in all areas of my life and not just let life run me over. I want to rekindle my relationship with Jesus, be a better wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter and citizen of this planet. I don't expect to ever be perfect, I'm not trying to set myself up for failure here, but at least I'm willing to try. I just know that it's time to do more than live in survival mode like I have been for the past three years. As wonderful as it was to adopt our daughter and give birth to our son these blessed events brought more challenge and stress than I thought possible. We have been through my daughter's heart and eye surgeries and attachment disorder (technically on the mild end of the spectrum but difficult nonetheless), I went back to work and we have moved twice. That's a lot of change and stress for anybody! It's time now for me to lift my head out of the trenches and see some sky, to live a little.
Today I'm going to start with something that was not on the list. Have fun with my kids. We don't have to do or go or be anything today. We have danced to The Wiggles, drawn pictures, and played games. Today, we are just going to "be".

Jen